These common points between couples make love more stable. 与另一半有这些共同点会让你们的恋情更牢固

一、对未来的憧憬

A Vision of the Future

“情侣双方对金钱、精神、生活方式和孩子等方面的基本看法、总愿景一致，是非常重要的。当你们有了规划，那它就是不可代替的’方向’，帮助你们看清每天需要努力的方向、如何在生活中做出一些比较艰难的决定，”纽约市的拉比和媒人Shlomo Zalman Bregman说道。

“It’s vital that a couple shares a basic, overall picture of how they’d like for their lives to unfold financially, spiritually, lifestyle-wise, and with respect to children. When you have a plan in place, it serves as an irreplaceable ‘true north’ and helps clarify what each partner should be working towards daily, as well as helping the couple clarify how to make some of the tougher decisions in life,” said Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a rabbi and matchmaker in New York

二、能总是做自己

The Ability to Always Be Yourself

在另一半身边做真实的自己，呈现自己的所有品质，不论好坏。”虽然在生活中，很多人都没有表现出真实的自己，只展示他们想被人了解的那一部分–但当你找到真命天子/女时，他们却无法了解真实的你。这就创造了一个非常宝贵的机会：坦诚布公的和另一半聊聊吧，不加评判地分享你的爱、恐惧和希望，”Bregman说道。

It should be natural to be yourself around your spouse, with all your good and bad qualities. “Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else, and only sharing what they want seen – when you find your proper partner, they really can ‘see’ you. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment,” Bregman said.

三、错的时候，敢于承认

The Capacity to Admit When You’re Wrong

你们的恋情应该是这样的：错的一方能够认错并寻求宽恕。”最成功、最有活力的情侣在做错事、未贴心考虑另一半的时候，能敢于认错。而在这个世界上，大多数恋人都会将错归咎于凶人的那一方，当你和灵魂伴侣在一起的时候，你应该追求真理，坦率承认自己的错误，”Bregman说道。

Your relationship should be a safe space where you and your partner can admit when you’re wrong and seek forgiveness. “The most successful, dynamic couples have no difficulty admitting when they were wrong and fell short of treating their significant other properly. Whereas most of the world and its relationships often boil down to people taking a defensive posture, when you’re with your soulmate, you can pursue the truth and admit mistakes freely,” Bregman said.

四、相同的道德观

The Same Sense of Morality

“相同的道德观是恋情的重要组成部分，因为若道德观不一致，你对另一半的喜爱和尊重将会减少，”Bregman说道。关于道德观的谈话可能是个非常棘手的问题，但还是尽早聊一聊吧。”如果你发现你和另一半的道德观不一致，而且是在你觉得很’重要’的问题上观点不一，那最好还是放弃这段感情，”他补充道。

“Morality and shared ethics are a huge part of a committed relationship, because without it, your admiration and the esteem in which you hold your partner will be diminished,” Bregman said. Talking about morality and ethics can be tricky, but it should be done early. “If you discover that your morals don’t line up with that of your partner, and it’s something you deem to be ‘major,’ then it may well be advisable to let that relationship go,” he added.

（Resource：kekenet.com）

Key words：

憧憬： chōng jǐng  long for; look forward to; longing

未来： wèilái   future

做自己  zuò zì jǐ   be yourself

承认：chéngrèn   admit，acknowledge

道德：  dàodé    morals; morality; ethics; moral

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