A Vision of the Future
“情侣双方对金钱、精神、生活方式和孩子等方面的基本看法、总愿景一致，是非常重要的。当你们有了规划，那它就是不可代替的’方向’，帮助你们看清每天需要努力的方向、如何在生活中做出一些比较艰难的决定，”纽约市的拉比和媒人Shlomo Zalman Bregman说道。
“It’s vital that a couple shares a basic, overall picture of how they’d like for their lives to unfold financially, spiritually, lifestyle-wise, and with respect to children. When you have a plan in place, it serves as an irreplaceable ‘true north’ and helps clarify what each partner should be working towards daily, as well as helping the couple clarify how to make some of the tougher decisions in life,” said Shlomo Zalman Bregman, a rabbi and matchmaker in New York
The Ability to Always Be Yourself
It should be natural to be yourself around your spouse, with all your good and bad qualities. “Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else, and only sharing what they want seen – when you find your proper partner, they really can ‘see’ you. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment,” Bregman said.
The Capacity to Admit When You’re Wrong
Your relationship should be a safe space where you and your partner can admit when you’re wrong and seek forgiveness. “The most successful, dynamic couples have no difficulty admitting when they were wrong and fell short of treating their significant other properly. Whereas most of the world and its relationships often boil down to people taking a defensive posture, when you’re with your soulmate, you can pursue the truth and admit mistakes freely,” Bregman said.
The Same Sense of Morality
“Morality and shared ethics are a huge part of a committed relationship, because without it, your admiration and the esteem in which you hold your partner will be diminished,” Bregman said. Talking about morality and ethics can be tricky, but it should be done early. “If you discover that your morals don’t line up with that of your partner, and it’s something you deem to be ‘major,’ then it may well be advisable to let that relationship go,” he added.
憧憬： chōng jǐng long for; look forward to; longing
未来： wèilái future
做自己 zuò zì jǐ be yourself
道德： dàodé morals; morality; ethics; moral
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