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Chinese homophones show learning Chinese can be fun

More fun with Chinese homophones. Here's a Chinese joke involving homophone mix-ups and homophone names in Mandarin:

This morning it was extremely cold, and three sisters went to the ATM to get some money; just as they got there the money transport car arrived to put cash in the machine. 

今天早晨特冷,姐妹三个人去提款机领钱,正好遇见运钞车来加钞。

The three of them could only stand there braving the cold, and the eldest sister said to the other two: 

无奈之下三人只好站在一旁苦苦等候,这时大姐对二妹说:

"Are your hands freezing?"[冻手 (dòng shǒu) "hands freezing" sounds the same as 动手 – "to punch" or "to do it"]

冻手不?

The second sister, freezing cold, said, "My hands are freezing!"[again sounds the same as "punch him" or "do it!"]

二妹冷冷地回一句:冻手!

So four guns were immediately pointed at the three sisters… 

结果四杆枪瞬间指向姐妹三……

The three of them were arrested and sent to the police station, and on the way all the sisters were silent, until the third sister asked her older sister: 

三个人被抓住送派出所,在路上姐妹三一直沉默,后来三妹问姐:

"Why have you still not said anything?"[开腔 (kāi qiāng) "say something" sounds the same as 开枪 – "open fire"]

你们怎么还不开腔呢?

So eight guns were immediately pointed at the three sisters… 

结果八杆枪瞬间指向姐妹三………

When they got to the police station, an officer asked the older sister: "What's your name?" 

到了警局,警察问姐:你叫什么名字?

Sister: "Jiang Yingyu."[sounds the same as 讲英语 (jiǎng yīng yǔ) – "speak English"]

姐:蒋英羽。

The officer asked again: "What's your name?" 

警察再问一次:你叫什么名字?

Sister: "Jiang Yingyu." 

姐:蒋英羽。

The officer yelled at the older sister: "What is your name?" 

警察对大姐吼道:what is your name?

Sister: (silent)

大姐:(沉默以对)

The officer turned to the middle sister and said: "What is your name?"

警察转头对二妹说:what is your name?

The middle sister replied shyly: "Jiang Guoyu."[sounds the same as 讲国语 (jiǎng guó yǔ) – "speak Mandarin"]

二妹腼腆的回:蒋国羽。

The office asked again: "What's your name?"

警察再次问道:你叫什么名字?

Middle sister: "Jiang Guoyu."

二妹:蒋国羽。

The officer yelled at the middle sister: "What's your name?"

警对二妹大吼道:你叫什么名字?

Middle sister: (silent)

二妹:(沉默以对)

The officer asked the third sister: "What's your name?"

警察再问三妹说:你叫什么名字?

Third sister: Jiang Fangyan. [Sounds the same as 讲方言 (jiǎng fāng yán) – "speak in a dialect"]

三妹:蒋芳妍。

The officer yelled at the third sister: "What's your name?"[in Shanghainese, although here it's barely different to Mandarin.]

警察又对三妹吼:侬叫啥名字?

Third sister: "Jiang Fangyan."

三妹:蒋芳妍。

The officer spat blood and died.

警察吐血而亡。

This is all very silly and ridiculous, of course, but there are supposedly real stories about homophonic names causing troubles. 

Source: eastasiastudent

2016-09-09

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