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Foreigners’ embarrassing moments in China

笑话集锦:老外学中文的困惑.jpg

"Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?", an American asked. "Not yet!", a Chinese answered. "Then why does the Chinese character '杯' contain the radical wood '木'? ", the American continued. "But there is '不' next to it. Therefore, it means that a cup is not made of wood.", the Chinese retorted.

1. 美国人:你看过木头做的杯子吗?中国人:没有!美国人:那为什麽你们中国字的"杯"是木字旁?中国人:"杯"字旁边不是有个"不"字吗!也就是说它不是木头做的。

I got off the train, and saw a blind fortune teller in an dark corner. I just passed him by and gave him a glance… Suddenly, I heard a voice, "Hey there,, handsome. come over here.. Let me tell you your fortune." I just burst into tears. This blind man was the first ever to call me handsome.

2. 我下了火车,在一偏僻的角落看见一个仙风道骨的算命的瞎子,我在他面前走过。看了他一眼……突然我听见了一个沧桑地声音:帅哥别看了,过来让我来算一卦。我不禁泪牛满面:我从没别人见了我喊过帅哥,被一个瞎子看见了我的帅…

Guoan and Shenhua had a football match in Beijing Workers Stadium. Iker Casillas was present on the site. After the match a reporter asked, "What was the most impressive thing about this match?" Casillas replied, "I'm wondering why all the people in the stadium have kept calling the name XAVI." (In Spanish, XAVI is pronounced similar to "shabi". Shabi  means "fool" in Chinese. )

3. 工体国安打申花,卡西现场观战。赛后,记者问卡西:您对这场比赛印象最深的是什么?卡西说:我很奇怪,为什么整个体育场都在喊哈维的名字?(注:西班牙语XAVI的发音是"shabi")

I went to the office bathroom the other day. I had just squatted as I noticed a mosquito buzzing around me. It flew closer and closer to my face. I couldnt stand it. What if the mosquito bit me on the face? I decided to try to blow it away. I breathed in deeply, and damn, I sucked the mosquito into my nose. I pressed one side of my nose and try to breathe it out. 

It turned out to be useless. 

4. 前几天在公司上厕所,刚蹲下,忽见一只蚊子在面前飞舞,环绕不去,越飞还越凑近我脸。这个怎么可以,咬出一包还得了?!果断决定把它吹走。于是深吸一口气,MD,蚊子被我吸进鼻孔了!按住一侧鼻翼,使劲往外呼气,没用。

When I was waiting for the bus at the station today, an old lady passed by, stumbling and trembling. However, what pissed me off the most was that she was singing " wǒ yào sòng nǐ rì bú luò de xiǎng niàn…" (a pop song by Taiwanese singer Jolin Tsai)

5. 今天在车站等车,从我身后走过一位奶奶级人物,步履蹒跚,颤颤巍巍的,最令人蛋疼的是,这位奶奶嘴里还唱着:"我要送你日不落的想念…"

On a bus in a small town, a little boy aged about 3 or 4 sat in front of me. His mother and I stood beside him. The bus would broadcast at each stop, "please offer your seat to the aged, the weak, the sick and the disabled." Then, the boy asked her mother, "Mum, what does 'the weak' mean?" His mother thought for a moment and said, "It means mentally handicapped people." As the boy was looking around and saw me. I smiled at him. Then he suddenly stood up and said, "Uncle, please sit here."

6. 小城的公交车上,我面前的座位上坐着一个三四岁左右的小男孩,他妈妈和我并排站在他身旁。公交车每停一站都会报:"请给老弱病残让个座。"于是小男孩问他妈妈"妈妈,老弱病残的弱是什么?"妈妈想了下,说说:"是弱智。"于是小男孩眼光打量了一周,停在了我的身上,四眼相望,我对他微笑。于是他站起来说:"叔叔你坐这吧。"

2016-06-22

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